Before you pass the time with any FRIVOLOUS ACTIVITIES, you make sure to kneel before your impromptu and tasteful SHRINE to your dead hamster, GOBS. It feels like he passed away only yesterday.
However, as the hand-written PLAQUE above his SKELETAL REMAINS claims, he died last Monday. Or maybe it was the Monday before that. You've had a lot on your mind recently so you're not certain which Monday it was.
For as long as you had him, you housed him, fed him, and gave him untold quantities of PETS and SMOOCHES. Yet, on a recent Monday afternoon you returned to your treehouse to discover his bizarrely clean, dry, and pure white SKELETAL REMAINS.
Who could have done this to your precious GOBS? One thing of which you're certain is that he was a great and fluffy boy and that he RESPECTED you. Whoever, or whatever, did this will pay.
The same Monday he died, you RESPECTED him by nailing his SKELETAL REMAINS to the face of the same TREE upon which your TREEHOUSE rests.
You feel like the SHRINE could use a few candles or something.